Music's Like a Snuggie for Your Soul


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Anticonvulsants, Serpents & Insanity

Don't worry, I won't be quitting any day jobs (ha) to pursue a career in photoshop or poetry any time soon. Mine tends to be all sorts of emo, and sophomoric, but i enjoy creative writing heaptons, every now and then i can't help but try my hand at it. Suggestions are welcome.

Anticonvulsant Serpents (Title pending?)

The bottle shakes. Rattles.
Snakes behold.
Just tablets, silly girl.
From the good physician. Who knows things:
Names, doses, titrations, chiralities, medications and clinical theories.
Nevermind the sensation of capsules, 
chalky pills sliding past lips, down throats.
The side effects.
The feeling your boat is unmoored and the world is turbulent, distant, blurry, churning, bewildering, mess.
No Truth in those tablets. 
Yellow, white, pink, blue, green. 
(Weren't those colors safe once?) 
No panacea for me. For lots of us.
No divinely-inspired commandments in those tablets. 
No trace of God or Moses even. 
Only daunting lists and warnings:
Diplopia (blurred vision), ataxia, nausea, dizziness to the point of falling, pharyngitis, tremor, headache, somnolence, rash, insomnia, gum hyperplasia, facial widening, infections, anxiety, suicidal ideations, mania, depression, irritability, aggressiveness, nystagmus, confusion, weight gain, kidney failure, weight loss, hyponatremia, anemia, vision loss, liver damage, diarrhea, death, vomiting, kidney stones, body hair, oligohidrosis, glaucoma, increased seizures, am I forgetting some? 
Serpents, vipers. 
Complicit in the plight of Eden. 
The fall from Grace. 
Vexation, strife, 
strangled promises, 
dashed hopes. 
Medicinal. Venomous. 
Deadened everything except the writhing, agony, worry, anguish, fear, affliction, seizures, feeling wasted, that drowning sensation, the notion of slipping, drifting away, 
of going fucking insane, 
of being a victim. 
Domestic violence. 
You and your brain. 
Till death do you part.
In a house full of serpents.
Overstaying their welcome.
Pharmaceutical dependence
Can't live without them.
No offense to actual snakes out there,
Who are far more charming than the average, conventional, piece-of-shit, anti-epileptic drug. 

Perhaps i'm uncommonly jaded. 
And a complainer.

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