woop woop /s

I don't believe in jinxes. (I tell myself.)

But I do believe in manifestation, in prayer, in quantum. 

I believe we're mostly dust and clay and a few random elements strung up a lattice of code, spiraling out like yarn from our thoughts and the stories we tell about ourselves; plied together with the stories we accept from the outside about us. Fibers. Looming. The portal on the spinning wheel of existence. The 'orifice' the part on the wheel where thread feeds through from the spinners hands to the bobbin, my sister says it's called. Or something. 

When I came here and posted the police report my intention was to close out the chapter and turn this into a sheep-shearing blog. I still have lots of shearing pictures and stories i'm looking forward to sharing with you.

I'm a poor historian. Has it been a few months now things have been a little off? Not bad, just wonky. Could have strung a yarn or two from it, but mostly just the usual attention-seeking antics and nothing much to report. Gratitude. Then for whatever reason, whyeverthefuck i had the audacity to poke the proverbial bear i guess. Posting here. (Kidding/not kidding, ha.)

Fought the cops again, you guys. Ugh. When I didn't think i could possibly be more embarrassed than i'd already been on this seizure-having journey, i'm, pretty sure i went and leveled up. I should probably explain the whole scene. I remember more gory details than i care to admit. Feck. Am I just mellowdrama? Goodness. Can you see my sweet bruise?

I'm fairly confident with things, but I'm afraid i'll always feel insecure about having seizures. Is it bad telling those stories? It really seemed like we'd come to some sort of understanding, the local first-responders and me. I don't want to be that person any more. I barely have it in me taking on my own gremlins much less fighting helpers. Especially not the strong and strapped and tactical ones. And i'm a whole new level of mortified. What the actual.?

Anyhow, don't get to thinking *this* is my like okay?! Somehow yet another, anomalous, head shake interaction starring yours truly. Like a cringe Ben Stiller movie. Is another one of those play-by-plays going to be hard to stomach? Geeze. See below for footage of my *actual* life (our mom feeding a new lamb at my sister's. [Forgive my awful voice in the background]) and i'll try to muster up the courage to tell you how this last debacle went...