It was a beautiful weekend. We rang in the first day of the season in vibrant, springish, dare-i-say glorious fashion. I love my boys.
It's running at a friendly level, and it's a 'pool-and-drop' river, so after the rapids there's a nice calm pool to regroup and collect any swimmers, boats or gear. By our best accounts and figures, my typical 3 or 4 minute warning before a seizure should be adequate on this stretch, at this flow, to (whistle/signal, for starters), and find a spot to stop on shore, or at the very least eddy out and pray for the best... (My guys are rad, is what is boils down to, not to mention my buddy Marissa who joined on day two and kicked ass on her first Lochsa lap ever!)
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Behind that awesome clump of cedars was my very favorite pee spot of the weekend. |
How rejuvenating right?! You could almost cure sepsis just looking at that emerald green water.
Well, despite the auspicious beginning, i had about three more posts i'd hoped to get to, ('Fun at the Idaho Caucus', for one), was supposed to play three hockey games last night in our end-of-the-season tourney, then venture out afterwards to catch up with my good friends visiting all the way from Corvallis. But instead my plans have been supplanted with feeling like dogshit. I'm dragging ass, even though by my recollection i've been sleeping and doing everything else as usual.
I went to donate blood, (It's been scheduled for months, and i need all the easy karma i can get.) and even though i forgot to eat my cream-of-wheat, my iron was good. So i was stoked. Then of all damn things, i was deferred because my pulse was too high. I'm not at my peak swimming fitness, i'll admit, but my pulse was over 200. Ten minutes later, despite my best attempt to deep breathe and open a six pack of calm, it was higher. (How i hadn't noticed my heart was racing sooner, i haven't a clue.) In the days since, it's lower three out of four times i checked but still zooming intermittently. (Not quit my normal baseline, but 'WNL'. My pulse is usually mid 50's while marinating in the hospital setting.)
Is it the VNS? The maude reports are full of weird cardiac problems and events. Maybe the battery is starting to shit the bed? I don't really want to go all the way to Spokanistan to be told i'm being a ninny though if it really isn't anything. I'm in between GP's right now as mine has gone off to specialize in bariatric patients exclusively. She's fabulous. I'm ready to gain a hundred pounds just so i can see her again.
Anyhow, that's a pretty junk ending to what started as a niceish post. A roller coaster week for lack of a more inspired analogy. When the hockey schedule was posted i'd hoped to sneak a morning lap on our local river before our first game today, but i'm going to re-up on NSAIDs and go back to sleep instead. Little crab fork headaches, nothing compared to the kind post seizure, have accompanied this weird, unprecedented malaise. And does 'nothing grows in anger' apply to everything except seizures? Or do i feel angry on account they are imminent? Even small ones that may or may not have definitely not happened this week...foof.
I can't tell you how much I respect you for living your life with the gusto and energy you do. You put me to shame, and that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteI adore you, Ms. Ajax. May all these niggling little problems be just that- little- and may they resolve soon.
I hate hearing about the seizures, but I'm with Ms. Moon on the love for everything you do with such "gusto and energy." Keep us posted. The photos are wonderful, and I always love the music you post. I learn about some new band or singer very time! Hugs and kisses to you and onward! And your interview with me is hopefully out this Tuesday!
ReplyDeleteYou put me to shame, and that's for sure.
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