Holy Kookamunga, folks, rainbows, waterfalls and unicorns- as of yesterday, i'm officially a gainfully-employed member of the national workforce! After multiple interviews, i was offered a full-time (with benefits) warehouse position at an employee-owned boating supply company here in Moscow.
I'm pretty stoked. It's not exactly the best use of my degree, but i'm happy keeping botany a passion for the time being. Blah, blah. Anyhow, i can wear Carhartts and boots and everyone i've met there is easy-going and fun. While it might not be outdoors, at least i get to spend all day running around a warehouse instead of parked at a desk somewhere or chasing somebody else's hair and personal grime around toilets and shower fixtures.
But crud, i still haven't dropped the seizure bomb and/or mentioned Olive. It already seems deceptive to have gone to all the interviews and everything sans pooch. It nearly spilled out every time they asked if i had any questions, but then i'd recall my attorney friend's advice, "Don't disclose, don't disclose, don't disclose." So, ack, i didn't.
I have orientation on Monday, so i suppose i'll be giving my own miserable In the Event of a Seizure orientation schmegmariffic spiel. No matter how many times i rehearse that one, my stomach insists on crawling up into my throat and threatening to join in on the conversation. When i most desperately want to convey a sense of reassurance, i most effectively fail to do so.
I just can't play it off; i dread seizures. Even while, compared to a year ago, things are fan-effing-tastic, they still aren't perfect. I can't assert with any confidence things will continue be okay. I have one nearly-perfect, luminous, shiny summer, where miraculously, seizures had little impact on my life and livelihood. Plus, winter has been mostly off the radar so far as not once getting hauled in to the ER (woot woot!). I cling to those calming, sparkly tokens in my mind's eye. Precious gems, i tell you.
As much as i'd love to continue operating in a state of denial, based on the last several weeks and the recent seizure climate, i won't see the other side of February before they find out on their own accord (the job is not solitary or isolated). And i haven't even dickered with switching drugs around yet. Who knows when i'll be able to get that taken care of now that i'm a regular Monday through Friday nine-to-five-er. (Assuming they don't un-hire me upon learning i'm not the positively reliable candidate they'd hoped for.) Rambling. Anxiety. Sorry.
Which isn't to say i'm not optimistic. I've grown to believe a life revolving around things other than waiting to eat shit is probably off in Kookamunga frolicking with unicorns and pots of gold and leprechauns in a mystical mistiness with world peace spraying out of the rainbow terminus like confetti; but lately i'm less sure it's the case. And that's huge.
In more good news: i found this neat Ted talk today. I'm always pleased to hear epilepsy being talked about in a non-sensationalized, non Hollywood light.
A cool TEDx talk about new epilepsy treatments!
Sheesh, i only intended to include maybe a paragraph or two of "yay i got a job" breaking news, but since all of that just tumbled out, i'll postpone, yet another day (and really, what's one more at this point?) But, i really am looking forward to finally relating our Christmas Miracle with you. Tomorrow? God-willing, yo espero. TTFN.